Fish Faced Foolishness

I never envisioned myself wearing pj's to work and getting handed things like dead fish on trays.
Actually, ok the pajama thing is quite easy to imagine, and honestly  its probably the best uniform I will ever have the honor of donning each day. Its cotton, breathable and crawling around on straw floors is a breeze.*
However, nothing can prepare oneself for being handed two very glossy eyed, but very dead, fish on a serving tray that normally hold freshly squeezed juice or precariously stacked dishes. You'd think its not a big deal to walk back to the kitchen with such items in hand, but the situation will hit you and you'll realize that one trip will cause these limp fish to fly until they hit the floor in an undignified and smoosh-y manner.
Hilarity never hits me in the right situation. I swear I have an upside down sense of humor, or maybe its just so malnourished it will take in any scenario leaning toward funny and magnify it by 20...
I feel myself shriveling inside as my humor is continuously ignored or not understood...can funny bones shrink? All I know is, when I get back ya'll better be ready to laugh uproariously at my jokes because I need the boost...like taking a post trip vitamin of laughter and appreciation of puns. I'm seriously deficient.

Making big decisions takes a lot of focus and clarity and its amazing what distance does for that decision. Hard decisions are gonna be hard no matter how far away you are, but it does make for an unfettered viewpoint. I'm grateful to have this distance, yet it sucks all the same. Who decided that growing up should be this heavily laden with hard choices, and difficult separations? They obviously hated being a child, and forced everyone else around them to stop acting "childish". That way everyone is miserable together. Or maybe with age comes realization and realization just makes everyone sad to realize being a kid is way better and they should've stuck with that instead. Ah boohoo.

The first week back after our mini vacation has been incredibly busy. We have rocked lunch each day almost to full capacity. I'm running to and fro as fast as my white, cloven, sock clad thongs allow me, and I've developed an auto pilot program specifically for Nishimura that has so far, not created too much chaos. That's not counting the four drink orders I mixed up, the accidental complimentary salad I delivered to a very surprised guest and the tray of vinegar dipping sauce I nearly adorned upon a low seated guest while crawling around on the floor.
Stop giving me trays to deliver in the private dining rooms! I am old. Too old to hold a tray vertically, full of sauce that will most certainly stain, and pretend my legs are stumps at the knees while leaning over some VIP that could potentially have me offed, (but it would look like an accident for sure). They say when you don't wanna clean the kitchen break the dishes. Do you think spilling sake upon a lap is equivalent?

When an order is up, the chef will either clap his hands or yell something in Japanese/Chinese and the servers respond with, "Hai!" or yes, in Japanese. I've taken to responded regardless if I'm near or even capable of taking the tray somewhere. I've been condition to being clapped at and acknowledging it... without fury or indignation!
China has changed me.
I also enjoy the smell of curry now, and I don't remember a time when warm, dampened wash cloths are not given before a meal. I say 'thank you' in Chinese so often that its a reflex instead of a response. "Are you gonna finish that sandwi-" "Xie xie".
There's a jade bracelet around my wrist, and I've realized my recent and deep loathing for cucumbers. Ketchup here is fake, and my french fries taste naked...but I eat them anyway. That would never happen in USA. You see? The me you knew is fading away...

 Well maybe not fading away all the way, but I have come to realize a lot about myself. This introspective journey has yielded some fruits of ripe and also rotten varieties. I feel that mostly its positive change, and some things that come to light should surface now- instead of 40 years just about when my midlife crisis should hit.

Mostly I've come to terms with the fact that I will never actually enjoy the taste of bok choy, or crave chicken neck but the fact that I've tried it is a testament to an exploratory nature I wasn't sure existed. Yes, China has indeed changed me.


*This is interestingly worded because today I taught what the word 'breeze' meant, and it had more to do with a light wind, than an easy situation. However, I will refrain from trying to teach that because it was not a breeze explaining what breeze meant.
Can't win em all!

Also, as if I haven't had the chance to forever ruin my colleagues "normal" speech patterns and vocabulary already, they are hosting an English corner at the hotel which will be led by myself and my fellow interns. Imagine. All I'm sayin' is- I'm bringing back ye old timey words like "pardon" "indubitably" and "humblest apologies". And somehow I'll work those into the lecture while also discussing my assigned topic of movies...