One thing I have gleaned from my three month stint in banquets is that one never knows how an event will go, and there's just no use in trying to guess.
This particular party was begun with a group of rather intimidating women, who arrived an hour early for festivities, and sat gloomily in a room devoid of people for another two. Their clothes were a stunning mishmash of tacky 70's prom (complete with over sized shoulder poufs), Cabana girl skirt ruffles, and very arresting eye makeup. Overall quite a vision to behold. The men wore tunics with funky head covers, sometimes also draped with tablecloth proportioned robes that almost brushed the floor as they drifted about greeting each other politely.
After an hour and a half of patiently waiting for the whole group to arrive, and the muscles starting to twitch around a fading "for guest only grin", I decided that night was going to be at the very least, interesting.My knowledge of Nigerian culture was increased tenfold as the minutes ticked by, and by the end I felt as if I had spent a year abroad amongst them. (Ok, not really, but it was a very, very long night...)
Much ado was made upon the entrance of each person, and each person's outfit crescendo'd in intensity, only broken by the occasional man in a business suit, or woman in a dowdy dress. (There were no sequins, or gems, or even much lace to be found at least, which I believe would qualify her as severely under-dressed).
Most the guests had arrived, two hours past the time when dinner was to commence, save two persons of rather gigantic proportions (in stature and in personality). Their arrival was the capstone to the evening, in their opinion, and made this belief evident when they requested (requested is a polite term, actually they downright demanded) an escort to their seats. The two figures were very tall, big boned, and wore matching black and yellow gold dresses (with black lack collars, and sheer sleeves of course). My first glance informed me that our birthday party was now host to two fabulous drag queens. My second glance confirmed this, then confusedly stuttered to a halt when they spoke. Thick Nigerian accents flowed forth, but held the lilting quality that only females voices can posses. I think I might have startled and stared. However a few minutes later another server whispered in passing that our drag queens needed more water, and my suspicions were again confounded. I also must have thrown them off myself, because at one point I served them their dessert, and the woman who looked like a man, trying desperately to be a woman, looked directly at me and I put down her/his tiramisu, and said, "Gracias".
Nigerian jokes were told by the MC (who began the evening slouched in a chair, indifferently texting and looking extremely bored... I had a hard time picturing her telling jokes, or heck even staying awake). Her comedy routine sounded me more like someone gently playing the bongos, with random laugh tracks added, occasionally punctuated by enthusiastic exclamations like "mhhm!" from half of the audience who was actually paying attention. The white people in the room gave each other looks, eyebrows were waggled and shoulders were shrugged. This girl was hilarious, but we sure as heck didn't know why. Then an elderly gentleman shuffled up to the front of the dance floor, a very soft and husky voice scratched out over the speakers. His lower teeth protruded out, giving him a permanent stink eyed look that didn't cultivated any warm fuzzies. That, combined with the accent, the only thing I could think was a real life Nigerain Godfather was about to give a speech. I half expected, nay I prayed, he would look about the room and say with a diffident air, "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse..." and flutes would cue in ominously.
In reality, he wheezed on for another forty minutes about Nigerian things or something causing much appreciative laughter from the festively dressed bunch, and the servers to shrug and smile blandly. I just pretended they thought he was a marvelous Marlon Brando impersonator too, and we all shared a good laugh.
