My productivity has suffered a bit. I can't say I've worked super hard in iCafe this past week, nor can I say I've been really lazy. I will say however, that I spent a good half hour try to open a drawer that some genius stuffed with too many trays and I'm not even sorry. It was a problem I couldn't leave be. If the scenario was in the woods, I would've been the proverbial fox in a trap- chewing my own foot off. I scraped and pinched my hands trying to get that darn drawer to unjam, whilst keeping my temper in check. I'll admit a few choice words quietly escaped my gritted teeth, and the server who laughed at my predicament got a rather cold look. Eventually I worked some magic and got a couple knives stuck too. Terry came over, jiggled a couple things around and the drawer opened about as anticlimactically as when you see a small rock sink into a puddle. I sighed and thanked him, because let's be honest...I would've stood there all day, hands bleeding, pride stinging before walking away.
Is this a character flaw, or virtue? We could call it pigheadedness, or perseverance.
Thursday, Friday, Sunday. Three days left in my beloved iCafe. Amazing how quickly the honeymoon period ends on new and exciting things, amirite? I'll be relieved to walk away from the hustle and bustle of that place, but again, I will miss the people.
Sometimes the guilt of my life here rears its ugly head, and just makes me feel ten inches tall. I really have it great. Our apartment is spacious, clean, mostly quiet,the A/C works, and has occasionally reliable internet. We are able to go out to eat, see shows, find new places to hang out and not really worry about how much it costs. My schedule is strict in the sense where overtime is unthinkable, and I come and go when the clock says so. According to the hours I log, I get paid my full stipend, which I am fairly certain is twice as much as my fellow iCafe colleagues make (if not even more), and we get to eat a free meal at iCafe everyday. My schedule is flexible, and I can walk to work without setting one foot outside. I talk to my coworkers and they tell me how tired they are from working varied shift times, never just morning shifts like me. Or how one girl lives an hour bus ride away, but they still schedule her to come in at 6.45am. A lot of the people my age don't go out much, and just stay at home with their parents after work. They work until the job is done, sit through very long "briefings" (which I might add, is an unjust word that creates an illusion that a meeting will indeed be brief, and is always, it seems, never brief) have to listen and be careful around Robbie and still maintain a good attitude.
I really have it great. Then why do I feel so wrong about it?
This almost sounds like a complaint, and in a way it sort of is. How come I can go to college, then study abroad and get paid a lot when these people are here for real, work more, and get paid so little? It's the little unfair nuances in life that weave together to form one blanket of discontent and unhappiness. Well I'm overheating. Maybe its time for some 300 thread-count sheets of fairness and equality!
Maybe that is why I rarely see Chinese people smiling. Don't think they don't smile, its just never an expression they carry around naturally, unless prompted. I smile all day long, at guests, my colleagues, kid's antics heck, I smile at anything. I've smiled at a hot water heater. (It gets all fussy if you take too much hot water from it, and starts grumbling like an old man). The difference in culture between Americans and Chinese is that Chinese don't smile if they don't recognize you. I smile at strangers, and they stare back, at first startled or bewildered and sometimes I get a full on staring contest, but then others a delayed yet bemused smile. Oh, and they don't say smile. It's always "smell". It makes me giggle.
The best part of my day is when I get asked where I'm from, and I get to talk to that person for however long they want. I'm a curiosity, and being white is an excellent ice breaker. (Maybe its because I look like snow...? I'm sorry. That was a horrible stretch. I'll do better).
Its moon cake time here at Shangri-La. Guess I'm gonna get fat.
Also, never watch Julia & Julie whilst living in a country you're afraid to buy fruit, vegetables, and meat from. You will feel like an underachiever that would burn salad, and resort to eating pasta and canned corn for lunch everyday. (Not me, a friend does that)
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